to all the girls i've loved before

a new take on an old song. to all the girls i've loved before who've traveled in and out my door. i finally came along and written you this song. something like that. can't you hear good ol willy nelson singing it. this post goes out to all of the women who have ever darkened the door of 1330 ashville road (aka the ashville estate). there have been more than are pictured here but i didn't have pictures of you on my computer. to all of you, i love you dearly. i have shared more laughter and tears with you than i can count. i am so grateful for the time we have shared together. i never dreamed that i would love all of you so much. i now call you friends.

california or bust

I miss these people. Kate, if you are reading this, for the first time i considered moving out there. In some ways you guys are my family.

vicious cycle

are we doomed to repeat past mistakes? let me change that. am i doomed to repeat past mistakes? i feel like i have gotten in a vicious cycle and am spinning out of control. one aspect of my personality that i have a love hate relationship with is that i am a hopeless romantic. i love it because i continue to hope to find someone to love and be loved by and i hate it for the same reason.

streams in the desert

as i was playing around on the computer i thought about something. i do this (look at my friend's blogs and pages on myspace) to fill up time so i don't really have think about anything. i am concerned for my heart because i would rather write on this blog than pray. i think the reason for that is that i get feedback in written form from friends. i would rather read my friends thoughts than get in the word and read His thoughts. yesterday i was talking to my friend steph and she was sharing how she has felt dry spiritually lately. but she was beginning to see that God was in some way showing her his unconditional love by what seemed to be his absence. that made sense to me because it is in the times of drought that we remember what it was like when we felt close to god.
that conversation reminded me of a hymn

for a moment i withdrew
and thy heart was filled with pain
but my mercies i'll renew
thou shalt soon rejoice again
though i seem to hide my face
very soon my wrath shall cease
tis but for a moments space
ending in eternal peace

The Date "Making Mountains out of Molehills"

that isn't my own title i stole it from a song by barbara kessler and if you haven't heard it, all you single girls should check it out. oh, she has got us nailed.

anyways. i write this to let all my friends out in cyberspace know that i have a date tonight. and let me just say it has been many moons since that has happened. amazingly enough, i am not nervous yet. it is only 10 am though. i am starting to see that since it has been so long i think i have really high expectations for the person i want to date. i feel a bit rusty at all of this and on top of it i think it tends to be a bit more serious now that i am 28. i'm putting way too much pressure on myself. oh well. that's how i roll.