There is an ancient Chinese belief which states that when a child is born an invisible red thread connects that child's soul to all those people - present and in the future - who will play a part in that child's life. As each birthday passes, those threads shorten and tighten, bringing closer those people who are fated to be together. There is a beautiful song about this by Lucy Kaplansky entitled "the red thread". I was listening to that in my car yesterday, and I began to weep. I grieved the longings in my life that have not yet been fulfilled. I realized something this summer ,and that is, I don't just want to get married. I want a family. I want my family. This morning, as I was still thinking about this. My thoughts went down a slippery slope. I began to wonder if God is punishing me for some reason, and that is why He is withholding. Now, theologically, I would say a definite "No". But, what I believe and what I experience don't always seem to line up. I don't know where to insert them into my systematic theology and come out with the "right" answer.
3 comments:
I had those same thoughts when we were trying to get pregnant. Right or not theologically, I can tell you from experience that that line of thinking can drive you crazy. I always tried to remind myself of truth like "all things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." But sometimes it's just hard to think right!
i read this after our email "chat", so i say ditto to all i said there....and you are dearly loved.
you know i love you.
and nothing else sounds right to say here...
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