How to make an American Quilt pt 2

I was strolling along a street in Mountain View with Katie last night an I happened upon this place. I was so excited. I thought maybe I could find some inspiration for my upcoming project. When I looked in the window and found this...... someone is going to have a very merry christmas this year!

How to make an American Quilt

Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party

In the sky the bright stars glittered
On the bank the pale moon shone
And 'twas from aunt Dinah's quilting party
I was seeing Nellie home

Maybe some of you read my post on the fabric of family if you did it may seem like I'm becoming obsessed with quilts. When I wrote that post I started thinking about my granny. Some of you may know, most of you probably don't, my granny is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. I wasn't thinking about that when I wrote that post though. My memory went back to her quilting circle. She would gather her friends together in the back bedroom of the house and they would work on a quilt for weeks. I remember their skilled hands working mindlessly, it seemed, as they chatted and laughed with one another. I tucked that memory away with a smile. Then, my friend Katie's son received a gift, which was a homemade quilt. Katie and started talking about the quilt and I told her that story of my granny and the quilting circle. Which then turned into a conversation about my family heritage. I tend to to think that there is nothing special about it nothing worth salvaging or passing down. That conversation changed my mind. Before my Granny becomes too locked inside herself to realize what is happening around her I want preserve the quilting party tradition. I want her to be able to see me with my friends laughing, talking, and sewing mindlessly. Any takers?

*the song lyrics are especially for my JSU friends!

Me...In a Nutshell

Need I say more. I found this t-shirt online it pretty much describes me. Specifically, the part I hate most about my personality. I think this shirt might have to replace the one that said "tomorrow is my favorite day of the week." Can anyone else relate to my problem. I never want to do the thing that absolutely needs to be done. I always want to avoid it. To some it may seem like I forget things. That is not the case. I almost always remember what needs to be done. It hangs over me like Eeyore's cloud as a constant reminder of what I have not done yet. I avoid out of fear not irresponsibility.

Fabric of Family

What is that saying "friends are the family you choose for yourself" okay, okay, maybe it's a little cliche. I think I'm ok with it though. I think so because for some reason I feel more ok with being myself with my friends. More free to grow and move in different directions. This is not a knock to my actual family. I love them and am grateful for them. But in some ways I think I hold back a lot with them. Not sure why. There is something to be said about finding a soul friend; one that just gets you. I have been so blessed in my life to have so many special friends along the way. Friends that actually pray for me, those that continue to be my friend when I can be a little flaky, those that make me laugh and I in turn do the same for them, the ones that allow me to really see their lives, those that are brutally honest, or even try to find my husband. To all of you I hope you find yourself somewhere in this list. It is by no way complete. Somehow I picture all of you as pieces of a quilt that come together with such beauty and grace that makes up the fabric of my family

The Everyman

I love John Cusack. My love began with this movie Say Anything and has continued. I love the character of Lloyd Dobbler. Maybe you don't care but I want to share with you why I love that character. Lloyd is a fighter I could venture to say a warrior. His character is a kickboxer which reveals on the surface what is really underneath. Every girl wants a Lloyd and I'll tell you why. He knows what he wants (Dianne Court) and goes after her. He doesn't back down, he pursues! This picture says it all! Look at him standing confidently (in that outfit) not wavering,holding that ghetto blaster, shouting clearly without saying anything that he loves this woman.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

• "one question, do you need someone or do you need me? Forget it, I don't really care."

• "stick with us and we'll teach you bibles of truth"

• I am looking for a dare to be great situation

• I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. (I think we all can relate)

• I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

• Lloyd : I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? Joe: By choice, man.

I could go on. I hope if you have never seen it you should check it out along with with High Fidelity and Gross Pointe Blank!

Long and overdue 1/2 marathon update!

This is the day before the race. We were still on a high from the free stuff at the expo!
This is me awaiting our shuttle to take us to the starting line. As you can see it was dark outside. This is when I really began to question my decision. I look confident though, don't I?
Here we are prerace. Little did we know what would be awaiting us! Lines for miles (it seemed) outside the port o potties. At six in the morning they had all ran out of toilet paper. Note to self bring toilet paper next race. However, we met some nice friends in line who hunted down some tp for us. We had to split it and each got about 3 sheets. This was not nearly enough. I figured this out quickly and resorted to using the actual cardboard roll. OUCH! 2 words kept running through my mind- Staff infection.
Post race! I like to call this death by mileage. I'm sorry all of you have to look at that profile all the time. Whose nose is that anyway???
We weren't really all that happy. I must tell you that Amanda refused to remove her medal that day. I think she might sleep in it. shh don't tell her I let out her little secret.

My heart is a lonely hunter

There is a sadness in my heart that has yet to be explained to my mind. I can't seem to identify what is going on within. There seems to be a deep longing for something and I don't know what it is. Since most of my writings have been about singleness I could tend to blame it on that. I don't think that is what it is though. I think that could be a fruit longing that makes me aware that there is a deeper root longing. David Wilcox has a song entitled "That's what the Lonely is for" There is a line that says "when I get lonely now that's only a sign, some room is empty that room is there by design if I feel hollow that's just my proof there's more for me to follow that's what the lonely is for" My soul feels hollow. I have tried to fill the hollow of my heart with friends, doing well at my job, feeling loved and admired by others, but I have not really held on to the one who made the lonely and longing. If I am honest, I have ran from the lonely I have buried myself in cable tv and movies. Is this what giving up looks like? Is that what the loss of hope looks like? Nothing so obvious but ever so subtle a loss of hope and belief of my father longing to give me good gifts.

Front Porch Confessions

Let me first offer an apology for my blog neglect. Part of my neglect is due to the fact that I just haven't felt like i have had much to say. I have felt a bit numb on the inside as of late. I was talking to some friends about that feeling the other night on their porch. Susan asked me a question that noone has asked me in a long time which was "what can i pray for you?" Pretty simple. I had to think. All of the sudden emotion rose to the surface and I remembered again how much I do desire to know Jesus and how he desires to know me as well. Regrowth sprang up where there once was a withered spirit.

Thank you...Jesus
Thank you...Holy Spirit
Thank you ...God
Thank you ...true friends

Mercy and Justice

I have been thinking about how I am going to teach world literature with my 10th graders next year. My idea right now is to have a theme within the books read. The theme would be social justice. I'm trying to think about fiction stories that include this theme. I would welcome any suggestions.

the votes have been counted

Well, the votes are in and there is no real frontrunner (is that one word?). Oh well, it will be today. I am on spring break this week. It really has lost its excitement. It's more of a respite from my day to day busyness now.

I thought I would combine 1 and 3 (Jason's suggestion). I was doing pretty well dealing with singleness. I think I was so busy with transitioning and learning how to do my job that i just didn't have much time to think about it. Anyway, here are the events that led up to me wanting to hurl a book about singleness across my room with much force. A friend of mine wanted to set me up with someone -it didn't work out- the guy backed out. Which started a downward spiral of loneliness and despair. I then went to school and asked "where are the normal 30 year old guys?" and was told "if they're normal they are all married" then followed up with "do you think you're called to be single?" Agghhh even married men can be really dumb sometimes. The only "high" point in the conversation was when a married 40 something substitute teacher (who i did not know was listening) chimed in to say "she's too hot to stay single" that comment made for a very uncomfortable moment. I realize as i write this that i am doing the very thing that i said i hated -writing about singleness. I digress. Around this time i was given a book about the above mentioned topic. I thought I would give it a try. Maybe it would lend me some insight. It only magnified my hurt. I tried to keep reading, but the girl sounded just like me. She is 37 has been on staff with a ministry and has taught english. As i read i felt like i was looking into my future. And it made me very angry and sad. But this woman seemed satisfied. Which made me even more angry. Can she really be that ok with things? If she can, why can't I? What is wrong with me? These were all of the thoughts I had bouncing around in my head.

On the bright side: I do get a marriage proposal from on of my ninth graders every day. Better than nothing, huh?

Decision '07

I have a few ideas for future posts. Sometimes I'm better at titles than the actual post. So, I thought I would let you vote and tell me which you are interested in hearing about most.

1. 14 or 44. My continual search for love and the receipt from the undesirable.
2. RESPECT find out what it means to me. Stories from the field. (teaching, that is)
3. Why I hate books about singleness.

Ok the ball is in the reader's court. Let me know what you want to read about.

risk and fear

I have been joking about how '07 is going to be my year. Year for what you might ask. My friend Lyndsey and I have been saying it is our year for love. Only, it always seems that the "love" that is offered to me is not what I want exactly. I think one of the flaws in my personality is that i can sell an idea to myself. I will have reservations about something but if i think about it long enough i will make it seem like a good idea. This is dangerous when it comes to dating. It makes it difficult for me to think clearly and objectively. Right now I am more confused than i have been in quite some time. There is a person that has entered into my life and he has lots of baggage. I do to. One thing I have noticed lately is that I really don't trust men. My friends, sure, but not men that are more than buddies. I rarely believe they are going to do what they say they will. I'm wondering if this man is worth me putting time and emotional energy into. I have lived pretty safe for the past 6 years. Is it time to take a risk? Is he somebody that i should take a risk with? I really don't know.

I'm still here!!

I know many of you thought I had dropped off the face of the earth. Contrary to popular belief I still know how to post blogs. I just haven't had time. Due to the fact that my home computer is yet again not operating correctly. I don't really have the time while I am at school to post anything either.

For those of you I don't see all that much...I am really enjoying teaching. I sure don't feel adequate but it is fun. It seems to be a good fit for me. I love being able to get to know the students and I am finding that I love learning and getting prepared for the lessons. I guess it helps that I like reading anyway. Sad thing about it though is that I don't have time to read for pleasure much anymore. Anyone have any suggestions for a good read?

One thing I really love about this job is getting to know the students. It has been a real natural transition. I keep thinking it's going to get really hard or I'm going to be really unhappy soon. It just seems too easy. I should just see it as a welcomed gift from the lord. But I keep looking over my shoulder to see what's next.

Gainfully Employed

I am officially a high school English teacher. (please don't judge my abilities on this blog!) I will start the job on Monday! How crazy is that. shhh, don't tell the kids but i don't know what i am doing. we'll all be learning as we go.

overlooked and forgotten?

As many of you know i am currently looking for a job. Sometime last year i started realizing that one of my biggest fears and misconceptions about God is that I will be overlooked or forgotten by him. I started seeing this in the are of singleness. Through searching my heart I saw how much i believed that he had forgotten about me. Well, while i have been looking for a job and continually have had doors shut in my face (not literally) that lie is creeping up again. I'm starting to see that idolatry is not just the things that we want really badly but any misconception about god that is fabricated in my mind and is not true of his character. His word has told me that he will never leave me nor forsake me. And as i read in Isaiah this morning it says "Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet i will not forget you. See I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." I pray that i will believe this - that HE has promised not to forget about me. The people who receive my resume may forget or overlook me because of my "lack of experience" but The Lord has promised not to and He is faithful.

Kate and Angie-i'm sure this will add fuel to the fire about California. Huh?

computers come to me to die

Most of my friends have heard me say that statement at least once. Well, you're hearing it again because the 3rd computer i have had in about 4 years decided to lose it's operating system. Sounds like a horrible thing. Sounds like the equivelant to a human losing their identity or their memory. This has to be a terrible thing for a computer but let me say an even more cruel thing for it's owner. I have become so dependent on that Thinkpad for my communication to the outside world. Now I have to resort to going to the public library. Ahhh, gone are the days of surfing the net in privacy or looking for cool new music on itunes. I must pause for a moment of silence for my dear friend..

Ok i'm done. I do have more news. I have a new house that i am moving into. It's pretty cute and i love the area that it is in. As i have been driving to my new home i have noticed the same girl running a lot. she likes to wear pants and just her sports bra. which i think is strange. why just the sports bra if you are going to wear long pants? I think she is on a weight loss regime. The last time i saw her though i had a thought. It will be so exciting to watch my new found friend drop the lb's. Maybe that is a bit voyeuristic (sp) but i'm curious. She has inspired me to lace up the running shoes and hit the pavement. Even though i haven't done it yet.

Also, i went on a job interview for a teaching position. something my mother has wanted me to be since college. The headmaster gave the job to someone with a doctorate. imagine that. However, he is trying to find money in the budget to hire me as a part time assistant to him and part time teacher. I would get benefits and an ok salary. This sounds like a great transition job for me. So, if you think of it pray that the school has money in the budget for me!

Praises!

These are the students i have been spending the summer with. Very soon we will be leaving Thailand. Please pray that we will have endurance to finish strong and that we will continue to have a burden for our new Thai friends.

If you look carefully you can see the look of pain on jessica's face...it's just because she misses adam soooo much. just kidding she was getting stung by bugs while we were taking the pic.
















This is my friend Kwan. She came to the evangelistic retreat this weekend. Kwan is a girl that we have been spending a lot of time with. Sarah and I actually went home with her for the anniversary of the death of her grandfather. At the beginning of the summer she was not interested in christianity-but this weekend she told us that she wanted purpose in her life. I believe this is evidence that the lord is at work in her heart. If you think about it pray for Kwan.



My summer in Thailand has been really good for me personally. All year I have struggled with really finding joy in the Lord. But being on staff with ministry I was constantly talking to girls about god and trying to help them. The only problem was that my own heart was hard and cold. This led to much frustration within myself. The only thing i felt wast the ache to want to feel god. But when i went before him it's like i didn't know what to do. It's been like that while i've been here as well but i think the difference is that i've been honest with the people on my team and with god. Just this week i have felt as if the words in my bible have lept off of the page and gone directly into my heart. In Ps. 18: 28 it says "For it is you who light my lamp; the lord my god lightens my darkness." It is god who reveals sin and gives me hope that sin is defeated! I have been so encouraged by meditating on this.

oh one other update from the evanelistic retreat..one girl that i know of became a christian! i'm sure there will be more fruit. we may not see it for some time though.

Thailand fun facts

These are some photos from my trip. I'll give you some details about them. The first one is from when we went to the snake village. As you can see i am not in this picture. That is because i didn't hold one. (shh don't tell anyone but i am really scared of snakes). The guy in the middle would scare the snakes with his one crazy eye. Oh don't worry he also put the cobra's head in his mouth.

The second photo is of sarah but what you can't see as well in the background is the thai version of kip dynamite. we see him every week in his short shorts playing badminton. and let me tell you he is hardcore about it. actually all the thai's are into badminton. they hit that birdie like it'a tennis ball. i never knew that a birdie could be so intimidating. i pretty much suck at badminton! i didn't know that until i came here though.

The third photo is of our mode of transportation. the good ol carryboy. of which i wrote about in the earlier post. the carryboy is falling apart piece by piece. we are carrying around pieces of it's bumper and other parts at all times. the upside is that all 10 team members fit in just fine.

Last but not least. the last photo is of me, stephanie and a girl that goes to samford who is actually from thailand. she came to visit us this summer. she became a christian in america and had not been around thai christians until she came to church with us in Khon Kaen. it's been really cool to see a bigger picture of the body of christ.

i'll write more soon about what i have been learning and processing. my heart and mind have just been muddled lately.

carryboys and the such

well, here is my first post from thailand. as i write this i am sitting on our "front porch" where we actually have wireless internet. angie, thailand has come a long way since we were here. we even found a coffee shop close to us. kku has turned into a thriving metropolis. 7/11/s on every corner where you can find all kind of tasty treats. that may be my downfall this summer. so far we are adjusting fine here. everyone on the team has had a great attitude and we are in the process of meeting many new thai friends. it's amazing to see not only economic change but spiritual change as well here. there are more thai christians now, that are growing and wanting to give their faith away. it's doing my heart good to be here. today we talked about the motivation for ministry -it was so good to hear their staff say that it is not about gutting it out for the lord but about walking in freedom and the fact that knowing we are free makes us want to fight. over here the fight is to want to hang in there in a conversation past the first 5 minutes and to chose to love others more than myself. but isn't the fight the same at home. selfishness is there no matter what side of the earth you are on. it's just magnified here because nothing is familiar and every conversation is draining

on our first trip to the thai version of wal-mart..lotus. kara's car started smoking from around the back tires. one of the staff guys thought it was because the emergency break was not pushed in all the way. so we got back in the death trap loaded down with all of our purchases to come home. we didn't get very far until we noticed that the car would not accelerate. now, for those of you who have not been to thailand...trafic rules are more of a suggestion. we were stopped at a red light at a major intersection and the car would not move. all was well until a 2 story bus came at us at a breakneck speed showing no sign of stopping or moving. all of us were paralyzed with fear the bus swerved at just the right time though. right after that one of the staff wives pulled up beside us we quickly transported ourselves and our goods into her car and sped off. leaving the car to pushed away by the guys on the team. all is well now.

ladies night out and other fun facts

here is the missing photo from the previous post. for some reason i could not get the picture to upload last time. that's my mom on the right with her mouth hanging open. she was saying "florabama" instead of cheese. while this is not the most flattering photo i just wanted everyone to see where i prefer to spend my free time these days.

i'm flying out saturday for thailand. my flight is @ 2:15 pm.

but before that i'm taking my state exam for real estate -thursday @ 1:30 please pray that i pass this the first time. i don't want to be a statistic. you have to make a 70 to pass if people don't pass it's not because they fail-they usually make between 65-69. i don't want that to be me.



i'll keep you guys posted on the happenings in southeast asia.